


Five Times Oliver Queen Had a Sense of Humor

by Books_and_Cats_and_Coffee (orphan_account)



Series: A Curious Collection of Sladiver Oneshots [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 17:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21001526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Books_and_Cats_and_Coffee
Summary: Or rather: what happens when Oliver remembers his favorite pastime from the island. Aka, annoying Slade.





	Five Times Oliver Queen Had a Sense of Humor

** _One_ **

John Diggle had worked with Oliver Queen for over five years. He wanted to say he knew him well, but apparently, he didn’t. It all started when a now sane Slade Wilson “temporarily” joined their team. After the events of his Mirakuru fueled attack, and indirect involvement with Isabel Rochev (who broke away from his mission and murdered Moira Queen) anyone would expect Oliver to be a little stiff around his once friend.

They were all very careful, John had briefed the newest team members on the delicate situation as soon as they returned from Lian Yu. The results wasn't what anyone had expected. Oliver and Wilson made a near perfect team, and often, no one else could follow their conversations. The two slowly became more and more comfortable around each other, surpassing what stiffness was between them to rebuild their old friendship. Then things took a turn about the third week in. They had all been gathered around the computer monitor, learning information on a group of bandits who focused on trains and their cargo.

“They definitely have a pattern,” Felicity informed them all. “And judging from what I’ve found, their next target will be here.” She enlarged the map portrayed on the screen, pointing out a specific section of tracks.

“It would be beneficial to know who outfitted the group.” Wilson pointed out, and Diggle had to admit he was right. He usually seemed to be. The more time John spent around the man, the more he was left to wonder how the hell they had ever managed to stop him. And the more he realized that maybe Wilson hadn't been so determined to win near the end. 

“True, but for now let’s try to stay on track,” Oliver replied. Curtis chuckled, and everyone looked towards him, but the archer’s face was so deadpan, the team assumed it was a coincidence. Wilson's eye narrowed fractionally, and there was something wary in his expression now. 

“Do you know the time?” he asked Felicity slowly, not taking his gaze off Oliver (who was still watching the screen).

“Nine pm,” she replied promptly.

“Good,” Diggle stepped in. “We can set up along the tracks and wait for sign of a vehicle.” He looked towards Oliver who nodded, they had already discussed this plan. “Might as well head out now, make sure we get there before these bandits.” There was still the moment of hesitation as they waited on Oliver curious to see if he had anything to add.

“John’s right; Dinah and Rene take the left side, Curtis and I will take the right, John and Slade check the perimeter. Let’s suit up.” As they all turned away from the monitors and stepped off the dais, Oliver walking just ahead of Slade, most of the team was close enough to hear the archer’s final remark, turning fractionally to look back at the Australian. “We’ll really need to be careful on this one, anyone who robs trains has to have to have some loco-motives.”

He didn’t get a response from the Australian, who merely shook his head, glared at Oliver and walked away. It was only a moment later when Curtis leaned over to John, a little confused.

“Did he just-?”

“I don’t even know."

** _Two_ **

Dinah still didn’t know what to make of the second notable ‘incident’. Wilson came in later than usual one morning, looking more than a little annoyed about something -although considerably less murderous than how he usually was when annoyed- and silently started work. It wasn’t until later, when Oliver came down into the lair, with yet another trail for Felicity to start on, that the police detective even thought about Slade’s tardiness again. The archer spoke to the bottle blonde first before turning away. His eyes fell on Slade, and almost immediately, a barely concealed smile wiped away the serious furrow between his brows.

“Hey Slade,” she didn’t recognize the tone in his voice, in anyone else, she would have said it was mischief, but that just wasn’t much like Oliver. The Australian didn’t look up but pointed a finger at him in warning. And spoke in a voice that could have terrified anyone else. It didn't seem to work on Oliver.

“Don’t.”

“I hope you didn’t leave your windows open last night; if you did, your apartment was probably really muggy this morning.” Now she was sure the archer was trying not to laugh, and even though the look Slade gave him _should_ have been a glare, it was ruined by his obvious attempt to hide an exasperated smile.

“You’re an idiot.” He replied gruffly, the insult not near as insulting as it should have sounded. Dinah wasn’t sure what she had witnessed, but Oliver looked very pleased with himself.

** _Three_ **

Quentin Lance had many doubts about letting Slade Wilson into City Hall, especially so close to Oliver. But the archer’s only concern was someone might spot and recognize him. Now, he, Dinah, Rene, Oliver, and Wilson were all in the mayor’s office, the first four pouring over documents and the latter seeming more concerned about the security. He had already paced around the room five times, checking the windows at least twice each. It was past midnight, and admittedly after seven attacks on public officials in nearly as many days, Lance could grudgingly see where his concern came from.

“Wentworth spent some time in prison,” Dinah remarked, surprised. “He got out and was apparently declared innocent.”

“Yeah well, who here wants to guess money made an appearance in that decision?” Rene asked cynically. Oliver agreed.

“Whoever this is, they’re focusing on specific victims; officials who covered something up,” he said, half to himself. He glanced at the time, setting down the files he was holding. “But all of you should call it night, we can back to this in the morning.” Both Dinah and Rene looked prepared to argue and he stressed his reasoning. “If, rather when, there’s another attack, I’m going to need a fully rested team.” He pointed out, and that was logic no one could argue with.

They dallied a few moments longer before cleaning up the papers into stacks and saying goodnights to Oliver; who insisted he just wanted to finish a few pages. Quentin left with the other two, trying to push aside his doubts about letting Wilson stay close to Oliver. He had almost made it to the end of the hall when he realized he had forgotten his copy of the financial report. He excused himself from Dinah and Rene’s company to retrieve it. The door to the office was still partially open, and he caught sight of Oliver even before he stepped through. The mayor was holding a coffee pot aloft, looking towards Slade.

“Do you want any coffee?” he asked, Slade shook his head once in reply, turning down the offer but the archer didn’t immediately set aside the pot again. “No coffee? What’s Sumatra with you?” Slade closed his eye for a moment, shaking his head. Quentin froze outside the room, not wanting to step in. He hadn't seen Oliver make a joke since before the island and intruding now seemed like a bad idea.

“You need to stop.”

“Do you have a latte on your mind?” Oliver somehow managed to keep a completely straight face.

“I am very close to strangling you,” the threat sounded strangely unthreatening. Strangely, that is, because it came from Slade Wilson, one of the most frightening men on the face of the planet. But what he said sounded more like an easy retort than a warning. Lance might even go as far as to call it a 'cute comeback'.

“That sounds like _grounds_ for an investigation. They might suspect the coffee at first, and then they’ll have to take some _mug _shots.” Oliver almost lost his composure.

“That one didn’t even make sense.”

“Oh, sorry,” the apology was almost genuine. “Would you say it filled you with unhap_bean_ness?”

“You’re impossible.” Slade told him, standing and stepping away from the table. “And an idiot.” Oliver shook his head slowly, expression turning grim.

“We all do things we’re not proud of,” he said seriously. “And we have to ask; does the end really justify the _beans_?”

“And you’re done for the night.” Slade neatly confiscated the stack of books and papers, easily fending off Oliver’s halfhearted attempts to reclaim them. Quentin quietly let the door fall shut, stepping back out of the room, but not far enough back that he didn’t hear; “Make one more coffee pun and I’ll tie you to your office chair.”

“You know, that classifies as _brew_tality to a city official.”

Lance caught up with Dinah and Rene halfway down the hall, it wasn’t long after that Wilson joined them as well. Lance glanced at him sideways. “Oliver spending the night in his office?” he asked, not referencing any of the conversation he had overheard. Slade turned a blasé expression on him.

“Something like that.”

** _Four_ **

Felicity still felt uncomfortable around Slade. Obviously, muscular, scary guy with an accent and eye patch, tried to kill her once or maybe twice. But Oliver had a special kind of lightness around him now, and she knew instinctively it was because of their newest companion. Try as she might, she couldn’t bring herself to deny Oliver that little bit of happiness. Besides, Wilson was fractionally less scary than before. And supposedly not trying to kill any of them either. Which was always a good thing as far as Felicity was concerned, and they needed all the good things they could get. Especially no

The mission had gone south, Oliver had gotten shot, more than once. Predictably, he was now refusing to sit down, instead stumbling around the Arrow cave bleeding _everywhere_. John had told him to sit down, she had told him to lie down, and Oliver had waved away both suggestions. “We know the directly the bullet came from, see if you can find any buildings in the area a sniper could have set up.” He said. At that moment, the elevator dinged open, and Slade _stalked_ into the underground lair. He stepped up onto the dais, caught Oliver’s arm in his hand and continued forward without breaking stride. The archer let himself be dragged backwards off the dais, Slade skillfully catching him before he could trip on the stairs. Oliver didn’t even seem surprised, continuing his conversation with Felicity who had stood up from her chair in concern. Sure, she couldn't fight off _Slade Wilson_ but she was willing to try if he hurt Oliver. “My guess is they hired a third party to secure the location.” He sat down in the chair behind him as Slade stepped away to pull out a medical box. Felicity, slowly sitting down herself, turned back to her computer.

“Right, that shouldn’t be too hard.” She commented. The rest of the team had already filtered through the cave, most of them returned from changing and setting aside their weapons. Curtis joined her to help. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Oliver unzipping his top to let Slade remove the bullets from his back. The archer grimaced as the Australian pulled out the first bullet, but he didn’t say anything. At least not until Slade did.

“You should have left a lookout outside,” he said quietly, and Felicity was barely able to catch it. Oliver went to shrug, and Slade stopped the movement, his hand going to the archer’s shoulder.

“Probably,” Oliver agreed. “But it looked like we had a clear shot.” She heard Slade’s sigh from across the room, and just managed to glance towards them and catch the look he gave Oliver. She knew that look, it was the special one he only gave Oliver. That one that was gentle, fond, and concerned all rolled into one. And she knew the look Oliver gave him in response. That little smile and the way his eyes lit up.

“You’re impossible.” The Australian muttered. He seemed to be ignoring Oliver’s quiet laughter, but as he turned away to collected fresh bandages, Felicity swore she saw a smile.

** _Five_ **

Slade didn’t come to the wedding. It was a unanimous agreement that no one ever addressed and the Australian didn’t take any insult at. Because of that, him showing up halfway through their fight with the Nazi’s had downright terrified Barry. After a short intermission when everyone thought he was from Earth-X and Slade had 'nicely' put down their attacks. Oliver had managed to come in and brief everyone on the situtation and that Slade was now actually an ally. And maybe they all had their questions, but putting all them aside until there were less Nazis seemed like a good idea.

On top of that, having a man who could put Oliver down single-handed was very convenient when dealing with an evil version of the archer. In the end, it was all put to rest. And after a considerably smaller wedding (witnessed by Oliver and Kara) and a late evening at the bar with Oliver, they all met again at the Star Labs warehouse to split ways. It was always the melancholy part, Barry reflected, because it was never clear when they’d see each other again. The Legends were the first to leave, lingering over goodbyes while Wilson hovered away from the group, leaning against the wall and not watching the exchanges.

Predictably, Kara hadn’t gone for that, and the young blonde had been the first to go over with all her superhuman cheerfulness and exchange a few words with the once villain. Sara had also said her own goodbyes, the two talking quietly to each other for sometime. But no one else, as much as the man had helped, really knew what to say. It wasn’t long until the Legends were gone, most of Team Flash had gone home, and it was just Barry, Kara, and Oliver.

It was what usually happened, the rest of Team Arrow was gone, and the three of them were just finishing up their goodbyes. Barry would make sure Kara got back to her earth, and Oliver usually took his time to leave. The archer finally started towards the door, joined by Slade halfway there. It was a strange sight, and as Barry and Kara forgot what they were doing to watch the two leave, the conversation was still audible.

“Is this something you run into a lot?” Wilson asked.

“We’ve had episodes, but I can honestly say we’ve _Nazi_ seen anything like this before.” Oliver replied without so much as a pause in the conversation. Slade pulled the door open, shaking his head at Oliver.

"I hate you.” The words should have been alarming, but Oliver's reaction negated their meaning, if Slade's tone hadn't already. The archer smiled at him, a private smile that made Barry feel as though there was a lot in the expression he didn't know. 

"No, you don't." He told the Australian, and the door shut after them.

Kara and Barry exchanged a look as the door closed behind them, both of adequately lost for words. “Something new every year,” Kara commented, and Barry could only nod. It was definitely new, he had never heard Oliver tell a joke, let alone a terrible pun, and honestly, Barry wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. "At least he looks happy." She added, and Barry had to pause. Happy, well, no one could begrudge Oliver that, could they?


End file.
